Mother’s Day………….not one of my favorite holidays, especially when I can’t spend it with my girls. They are scattered in 4 different states so it makes it difficult to get together, but I count myself lucky that I usually get to see them all at least once a year. Thank goodness for FaceTime and text messaging. A day doesn’t go by without a text exchange from one or more of them and FaceTime is awesome for chats that make you feel like they’re right there in the same room. It’s good for chats with the grandkids too!! But still……….it’s not the same as having them all gathered around the table, talking over each other, laughing loudly and making me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.
When my girls were young and still living at home, I enjoyed Mother’s Day. I loved getting the cute little handmade gifts that my kids made in school, along with the homemade cards. I have several pieces of pottery from their grade school days scattered throughout my home. They are beautiful pieces of Art and also sweet reminders of the past.
Three of my four girls are now parents themselves and I love seeing pics of the special moments they spend with their children each Mother’s Day and really, every day. It’s a gift to me to know they are being good mothers to their children. I always tell them to do better than I did as a mother. Learn from my mistakes. I didn’t have a very good role model in the mother arena and I feel like I made a lot of mistakes. However, I do know that I was and am, a better mother than my mother, and so I tell my kids to keep it going by being a better mother than me…….and they are.
I haven’t seen or spoken to my mother in over 20 plus years and I’ve made peace with that. My mother didn’t love me……and not just me. It took me years to figure that out. My first inclination was when I gave birth to my first daughter and was flooded with the almost overwhelming love I had for her. It truly shook me. I had no idea that kind of love existed and then I thought, my mother doesn’t love me like this. And believe me when I tell you that from my earliest memories, I tried so hard to make her love me. I wanted it so bad. I mean, doesn’t everyone want their mother to love them? I guess it just wasn’t meant to be, and like I said earlier, I’ve made peace with it. I’ve also made it my life mission to make sure that my children have absolutely no doubt, whatsoever, how much I LOVE THEM…….SO DEEPLY. They are EVERYTHING to me. We sometimes have our tangles, because that is life, but until my last breath, I will be the mother who loves them with everything I’ve got.
Okay, I know that was a lot and I thank you for hanging on this far. It’s a touchy subject and I don’t like to discuss it much, but when I’m missing my girls, my feelings kinda fall out.
And now, I’m going to blast you with some photos of my loves.
Aren’t they BEAUTIFUL??!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
p.s. The drawing for SHINE ON is in just 2 more days!!!